WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE bragging or thinking
theyre better than you, whats your first instinct?
To take them down a notch? Let them know theyre not as
great as they think they are? And when someone is humble or playing
themselves down, what do you want to do? Build them up, probably.
Its human nature.
The problem is, when you do well
even if you arent an egotist or a braggart
some people can get the impression you think youre pretty
hot stuff, and theyll try to tear you down. Therefore
and heres the point if you get more criticism
than you want, play yourself down. Get to it before they
do. If you play yourself down well enough and quick enough, the
criticizer may even do a complete turnaround and try to build
you up. At least theyll have less desire to tear you down.
Youve taken the wind out of their sails by playing yourself
There are rules to playing yourself down.
You cant just go around saying, Im a sniveling,
worthless puddle of scum sludge. Too obvious. Here are
a few pointers:
Not only does lying feel bad, but if the other person knows or
suspects youre lying, it reverses the effect youre
trying to create.
Dont make a big deal about it. Dont go on and on about how imperfect you
are: Itll sound like youre trying to convince yourself.
Just make a brief comment and go on.
Point out something the other person
is better at than you. Often people
who make a habit of tearing other people down feel intensely
competitive, and itll help them relax to feel like a winner.
Never mention youre better at
something than the other person unless its absolutely necessary.
This will only be difficult if
you yourself are intensely competitive.
When you make a mistake, admit it before
anyone else can accuse you. This
is a good thing to do anyway, but it also helps keep people from
trying to tear you down.
IT SOUNDS CONTRADICTORY, but people admire
humility as long as it is humility with class. Follow
these guidelines and youll achieve just that. The end result
will be a more peaceful, less contentious, happier life.
Play yourself down.