people principles



article menu

featured article
about us moodraiser blog

contact us


THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLES are from the book Self-Help Stuff That Works. Choose one principle to practice for now. Pick one you feel would do you the most good. Write the principle on a card and carry it with you for a week or so, actively trying to practice that principle at every opportunity. Then stop practicing it consciously. The skill or point of view will become available to you when you need it.

Chapter 84
Relax your muscles and make it your mission to help the other person feel more comfortable.

Chapter 85
To improve the self-esteem of others:
Give unexaggerated feedback and help them gain ability.

To improve your own self-esteem:
Change what you do to make yourself more appreciated by the people around you.

Chapter 86
Direct all complaints to the person who can do something about it.

Chapter 87
Question and criticize your negative judgements of people.

Chapter 88
As a personal discipline, practice listening well when someone is talking to you.

Chapter 89
Increase your certainty about how to act.

Chapter 90
Clean up relationships by being honest without judgement.

Chapter 91
Try to make a good first impression.

Chapter 92
Act like a person who is well liked and worthy of respect, even when you don't feel that way.

Chapter 93
Don't say much when you're angry.

When you complain, say what you want, not what you don't want.

Chapter 94
To find and keep a good mate:
Pursue your interest and remind yourself: Nobody's perfect and attraction to others is unimportant.

Chapter 95
Encapsulate your insights into short phrases and repeat them often.

Chapter 96
Play yourself down.

Chapter 97
Be honest. If it causes conflict, listen well and only say what is strictly true.

Chapter 98
Practice e-squared now and then: Pay close attention to your ongoing experience.

Chapter 99
Notice how other people are similar to you.

Chapter 100
Send good wishes to people anytime, anywhere.

Chapter 101
Don't limit yourself by giving yourself a narrow lable.

Chapter 102
Accept the natural conflict between parent and child.

Set standards and enforce them with consequences.

Chapter 103
Influence people by merely suggesting things.

Chapter 104
When you talk to people, think of them as relatives.

Chapter 105
Improve childrens' self-esteem by helping them become more competent.

Chapter 106
Be overly clear with people.

Chapter 107
Imagine yourself looking out from inside another's body.

Chapter 108
Criticize when it first occurs to you, but don't criticize — ask for what you want.

Chapter 109
Find and cultivate a friendship that centers around your strongest interest.

Chapter 110
Watch TV only once in awhile.

Chapter 111
Act undefensive when you feel defensive.

Chapter 112
Downplay or overlook what you don't want and enthusiastically appreciate what you do want.

Chapter 113
When you want acknowledgment for something, tell someone what you did.

Chapter 114
Relieve self-consciousness by focusing on a purpose.

Chapter 115
Practice having a "poker face" when you feel negative emotions.

Chapter 116
If you want to be intimate, say what you want and feel.

Chapter 117
Know what you want and speak up about it.

Chapter 118
Say things to yourself you want to be right about.

Chapter 119
Try not to waste too much of your attention on people who bother you.

Chapter 120
Resist the temptation to flinch.

Chapter 121
To forge mettle:
Remain loyal to your comrades, speak honestly and directly, and keep your word.

learn how to use these principles

Author: Adam Khan
author of the books, Self-Help Stuff That Works and Antivirus For Your Mind
and creator of the blog:
Articles and Interviews
Learn about sustaining motivation, improving relationships, relieving depression, improving your health, reducing anxiety, becoming more optimistic, enjoying a better mood more often, earning more money, expanding your creativity, making better decisions, resolving conflicts, and much more.

Self-Help Menu
Want to learn to enjoy your relationships with people more? Do better at work? Feel good more often? Have a better attitude? Use the self-help menu.

Facebook and Twitter
We post on Facebook and Twitter a few times a week, focusing on helping you feel good more often.

Search For Anything On YMW
Type in any topic and find all the material on YouMe Works on that topic. You can also browse topics on this page.

Subscribe to Moodraiser
Get articles delivered to your email inbox free. Learn simple methods for lifting your general feeling of well-being right away, and improving your mood over time.



Explore This Site | Immediate Relief | Bite Size | Home | Contact
Copyright © 2001-2099 -
YouMe Works Publications - All rights reserved.