This is one of "22
virus definitions" (thought-mistakes that cause ineffectiveness
and unnecessary negative emotions).
IS the same sort of mistake as overcertainty. When you make a guess, it
helps to realize it is just a guess, especially when your guess
is making you feel defeated, demoralized, or otherwise unhappy.
As soon as you realize your negative guess was just a guess,
it takes the power out of it and you stop feeling bad.
I know a man who is cynical about the president,
the governors, and politicians in general. He is glum often because
he thinks he knows what theyre all after. He's sure theyre
only interested in money and power and they dont care about
In other words, he is guessing the motivations
of politicians and then he becomes depressed and bitter because
of his guess.
People do that not just about other people,
but about future events. Its not going to work out,
you might hear someone say, and she believes her guess, so she
doesnt even try. She is guessing whats going to happen
in the future. Shes making a negative guess and feeling
defeated by it.
Can you see how much differently it would
be to not even not bother to guess but to merely acknowledge
to yourself that you dont know? If thats the truth,
if you really dont know, then just admit it. Not knowing
may make you feel an uncomfortable degree of curiosity or frustration,
but it wont make you feel demoralized or angry. It wont
make you want to give up on a goal.
See the complete list of definitions: The 22 Virus Definitions.