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IS ANGER NECESSARY to surviving in this
world? If you didn't have it, would you be defenseless against
evil people? Good question.
I think the answer depends on what you
mean by anger. Do you mean the feeling of it? If so, you
have no need to worry. You can't help but feel it. You will never
get rid of it permanently. It is a fact of our physiology and
the world as it is: When you feel trespassed against, you will
feel anger, at least to some degree. And unless you live on a
deserted tropical island, you will be trespassed against in this
life. Many times.
So perhaps we need to talk about the expression
of the feeling of anger. Is the expression of anger useful? That
depends on how you do it. If you express it with a fit of rage,
it's probably not only not useful, it is usually counterproductive.
But if you feel angry, and you meditate, and when you have calmed
yourself well and you feel at peace, you think about the situation
and try to think of a solution that does not cause more agitation,
pain, or stress in this world than already exists, and if that
is your expression of anger, I'd say expressing anger is
very useful indeed. This is possible, even if you think you have
an "anger management problem." It just takes the decision
to think. And you can't think worth a damn when you're
feeling upset. So you have to calm yourself first. There are
many ways to relax. Meditation is one of them.
Some people don't want to calm down first
and think. They are afraid that after they think about it and
calm down, they won't want to do anything about it, which means
they'll become a wimp, a doormat, and people will walk all over
them. They believe they need their anger, and they need
to express it freely.
Anger is a seductive emotion, and all the
thinking you do in a state of anger will involve how to cause
pain, make others feel bad, and make sure everyone knows you're
the one who is "in the right." In other words, every
solution you come up with in a state of anger will only escalate
the situation and cause you trouble. People might back off, but
they'll resent you and take future opportunities to bring you
down.
The rarest but sanest response to anger
is to calm down. And then think.
Be rare. Be your best self. Be a force
for good in this world. Do not participate in perpetuating the
hateful, angry, self-righteous actions of this world. Rise above
it by calming yourself deeply and thinking before you act. |
