DO YOU HESITATE to call a friend? Do you
procrastinate on that? Do you feel like you should call
but never get around to it? Strange as it may sound, it is probably
because you're thinking of what you will gain from the conversation.
If you would change your thinking and think
about how you can benefit your friend, you would be more eager
to pick up the phone.
But what can you give your friend, you
ask? More than you might think. First of all, the fact that you
called says someone cares and that in itself is a gift. It directly
helps your friend to feel cared about. Feeling cared about is
good for her health. It is good for her mood. It makes her happier.
Then in the conversation, you can be a
good listener. That is an enormous and rare contribution. It
will help her. Your caring, attentive ear is something you can
give. Something worth giving. It helps your friend think. It
helps her sort out her thoughts and feelings and makes her actions
saner and her mood better. It is a real contribution. Read more about good listening here.
And through your listening, you will find
out your friend's hopes and goals and fears and problems, and
because you did, in the days following your conversation, you
will come across an article or have an idea that might help your
friend, and you can pass it along, so this is another way your
listening can benefit your friend.
If you want to increase your motivation
to connect to others, because you know connecting with and helping
others is healthy and makes you happier, forget about
that. The benefits will come to you whether you think about it
or not, so you don't need to think about that, and thinking about
it is now counterproductive. Focus your mind on what you can
do for your friend. Turn your attention to the loving care of
your friend and you will end your procrastination.