AS LONG AS YOU are trying to connect with people, you will be growing, expanding, and learning. You will never have it mastered. If you're truly trying to connect, you'll never become complacent — even if you only talked with one person. You can always go deeper and she is always changing. There is always more to learn about her, about the way you talk, about how to listen well, about what makes a conversation meaningful, and on and on. Connecting is endlessly challenging.

Does this seem impossible? How come you can learn all about how to fix a car but not ever in your whole lifetime learn all there is to know about cultivating closeness with someone? Because there is an infinite amount to know. Because both you and your mate are growing and changing, so what you know today may not be worth much a year from now. Because love is bottomless.

A good conversation is always full of discovery, always stimulating and challenging, always instructive.

You will find the endless discovery one of the best things about connecting. And having this endless-challenge attitude will make it come true. Having the attitude that you know your mate like a book and can predict her will also tend to make that come true and you'll stop trying to know her. How sad. Go for the challenge. Be willing to constantly learn and try as you connect, and you'll be happier.